Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Returns

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A return to ballet classes means also: a return to hand-washing. Muscle memories and plain old memories.

When I was fourteen I took my first ballet intensive, which meant not enough leotards to make it through to the weekend load of laundry, especially with the sweating of a second-story ballet studio on the sunny side of town, with minimal ventilation, at mid-day, in mid-summer...

 My mom showed me how to plug our little porcelain bathroom sink, drizzle a little Woolite in, fill it with warm water and swirl my leotard and tights around. Swirl, swirl, let them sit. Rinse, wring, and she'd tell me about hand-washing in Greece when she was a student abroad without a washing machine, how she and her roommate would fill every available vessel in the apartment on their designated day, including the otherwise useless-to-them bidet; how hard it was to wring their jeans out, how the lines of drying clothes filled the apartment (or did I imagine the last part?). Lay the garments out flat on a towel, roll it up lengthwise, twist and coil it up to wring out even more moisture, and let it sit for five minutes before hanging them up to dry overnight.

I acquired more leotards, and class decreased from six to four days a week during the school year. Hand-washing remained the summer evening ritual, and is locked away in the same part of my brain as the late sunsets, hot afternoons on public transit home fading into western San Francisco fog, and the Brahms CD I carried around in my Discman.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Recitation: an archipelago

Once I lived on an island
where I knew I was loved  /  Once I was an island
and I trusted beyond reason  /  Almost floating
though I had no reason not to.  /  my feet alleged to be
 resting in volcanoes, but still I  /  Once, on an island where I lived
was senseless of my roots  /   I sat on the beach
I was alone under the sky for  /  and hurt was all the weather
as far as I could see  /  hurt was in the wind
I was full of light,  /  and a current
and the farthest thing from God  /  moving at an angle to
suspended, /  the line of shore
inviolable,  /  and I was the sea bottom
myself a place where  /  being moved but
silence answered  /  little changed.

itself for days.

Monday, January 11, 2016

A good Monday

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As in, one on which I wake on time, and Brianna and I catch the right train. One on which I have a bagel to toast at work, and enough time to do what I need. $2 miso at lunch, and ballet class in the evening. "Are you a redhead? Show me with your eyes. Your head is in the right place, but your eyes - YES!" Not much luck with the pirouettes, but satisfying work with the rest of the exercises. It is important for me to be absorbed, especially by things that aren't work, and to be moving. Right now I have both.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

2015 in books

I read 52 books in 2015. You can see the full list here. (You might have to be my friend on Goodreads first - not sure.)

My favorites:

The Ocean at the End of the Lane, by Neil Gaiman (2013)

The Price of Salt, by Patricia Highsmith (1952)

Rat Bohemia, by Sarah Schulman (1995)

Between Us: A Legacy of Lesbian Love Letters, ed. by Kay Turner (1996)

Spinster's Rock, by Caeia March (1999)

The Mysterious Howling (The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place #1), by Maryrose Wood (2009)

A whole bunch of Dykes to Watch Out For, by Alison Bechdel (1986-2000)

I Am Malala, by Malala Yousafzai and Christina Lamb (2012)

Friday, January 1, 2016

Last light, 2015

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My friend Odessa and I met up for tea/coffee in Japantown yesterday and then drove to Land's End to watch the last sunset of 2015.

I chose to ring in the New Year with a late-night yoga class. Notes: dark studio, the streetlights outside + battery-powered "candles" for light. I hadn't been to yoga in about two years. The instructor murmured, "And happy new year..." at the end of the set of instructions she happened to be giving when the clock struck midnight.

 My sad tired mantra these last few weeks has been "What would winter be without struggle?" but part of the opening quotation for the class was: "Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration."