Letter

My sweet sad astronaut sister
bone-lonely and texting me from the other side of the atmosphere
I know how tired you are, I know, I know
So I will listen,
I will not say what I am thinking,
which is you mustn't go any further!
which is how did no one notice
angry now that silence is not the opposite of screaming,
silent as you were, silent as shoulders shaking and
the nail polish stroking across the wood

And I am distressed with not knowing
why I should be happy and you sad,
the words that would be true enough for what I want to describe to you,
what I can say instead of it will be all right.

You're too far, love;
your voice is muffled
as I know mine must be for you.

[eta:]
But what I would have you hear is this

Every morning I am telling God
that if I am allowed one more miracle in my life,
I would see you happy again.

***


I don't even know how to finish this. It was upsetting for me to write it, and the reason I had trouble falling asleep last night.

For some reason, I feel better when it's out of my head, here where you can read it. So thank you.