I'm glad I don't have close friends who complain about being "fat." I don't really know what I'd say.
There's the obvious: "No, you're skinny!" or a plainer "No, you're not."
But to me, that just sounds like accepting the terms. Like, "You're right, this would be a serious issue if you were fat, because all you're worth is your appearance and how much that lines up with current sociocultural ideals. But fortunately you're not fat! So everything's good!"
Yeah, not so much.
Maybe a good response would be, "You're beautiful inside and out."
ReplyDeleteCan I quote you on that?
ReplyDeleteHeather - Yes, that is what I mean. :/ Only I think it's been said to the point of being meaningless, though perhaps sincerity can overpower cliches...!
ReplyDeleteQ - 'Course. What for?
I say we throw the word FAT away and never use it again! Everybody is different...Fat is irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteI killed Fat...it can't hurt us again...muhahahaha
:D
Yeah, one of my best friends is convinced she's "fat" and she's told me several times that she hates it when her friends tell her "No, no, you're skinny!" because, the thing is, she obviously ISN'T, and it's obviously a blatant lie that's supposed to make her feel better. It doesn't- it's just saying that being "fat" is a bad thing and so they're going to pretend she isn't. Honestly one thing I wish people would just get through their heads is that just because you don't weigh eighty pounds and when I punch you, it might hurt slightly less than if you punched me, does not mean you're fat and does not mean you're beautiful. *sigh*
ReplyDelete*not beautiful. fail.
ReplyDeletepinkapplecore - love chu! I don't mind the word, but if you've killed the connotations, you rock, and well done. (i'm not surprised you were up to the job all on your own. hehe.)
ReplyDeletegeekspawn - I like how you phrase that. of course you have to integrate physical violence. this reminds me of a post another blogger wrote called, "i'm not skinny, therefore i must be fat." she took her blog down, but i'll have to ask her for permission to repost or something.
Where would we be without physical violence? And yes, you ought...
ReplyDeleteHahahaha @geekspawn. I agree :P
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, there are some points where 'fat' could be a medically accurate term if body mass were at an unhealthy point, but most of the time, it's just that we don't look like Ralph Lauren models (one of whom was 'too big' at 5'10" and 120 pounds.) Beauty is not all height and weight, thank God.
geekspawn - Just emailed her.
ReplyDeleteEdge - I actually have a lot of problems with the medical categories of unhealthy fatness. For one thing, the BMI scale was normed on young, white, middle- and upper-class insurance policy holders. For another, most of the health problems associated with being fat are actually either caused by chronic dieting or can be alleviated without weight loss. And of course, weight loss is...extremely theoretical, seeing as 98% of the time people who have lost weight gain it back (or more) within five years. So that's my beef. Google "health at every size" if you're curious for more.
Mmm. I def should have phrased that better as 'fat' being body mass that is bad for one's health. That's also awfully difficult to define...and I will just stop talking now, as I am on painkillers and not terribly coherent :P I did not know that about the BMI scale, so thank you for that info!!
ReplyDeleteEdge - Gotcha. I just finished a book that kept touching on this subject, so it kind of jumps out of my mouth. (/fingers.)
ReplyDeleteWhat for? Whenever I need to pull an awesome line out of my hat about body image, that's what for! :P
ReplyDelete