Peace, Beaver

Sometimes it's not possible to know exactly what a person means without knowing where they're coming from and who they're addressing. A reminder for me to give the benefit of the doubt, which I did not do in the case of [recent blogger drama].

For those still interested in the content of the argument, I explained to Kristy Eléna that I interpreted the section of her post I quoted as saying that women have body image issues because they have not been strong enough. Kristy clarified her intent in writing that section:

"my excerpt was not meant to be a blame or to ignore the historical factors that have brought us to this point. that paragraph is meant for a very specific type of woman - one who unfortunately exists in abundance and whom i've had the bad fortune of running into far too often. the woman whose first reaction is to say something horrible and demeaning about another woman for her weight/looks but then turn around and play the 'men make women feel bad' card and 'why aren't we equal yet' and 'why am i not being respected by men.' the woman who is constantly saying 'i'm fat' but not because she actually IS struggling with a weight issue, but because she wants to put down her heavier friends. and though deep down she knows that's a really f-cked up mentality, she keeps doing it because it makes her feel better about herself, and she relies on that instead of actually looking inside and fixing whatever problem is causing it. she blames the models she sees in magazines for her problems when in reality it's HER. it's a 'tough love' paragraph for sure, but i've run out of ways to try and reason with people like that. maybe tough love is the only thing that's left."

You won't catch me writing like that, but I am writing to different people than Kristy Eléna is. Perhaps it's a needed message for some of her audience. I can't say.

I suspect we still disagree in some places, but no more ugly fighting. Yay clarity, yay agenda-free communication.

If the drama made you uneasy, my apologies, friend! It kind of made me yikes too and it's not exactly something I want to cultivate more of. Though you are quite welcome to disagree with me or one another in the comments.

I like you for bearing with me as I get wiser.

as ever,
Holly.