Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Never-published draft posts (2009)

I stole this idea from Heather.

5/12/09: I think

that contentment is a discipline. An art? Yes. Days like today, happiness doesn't float down from the sky and swathe me in bliss. It wants to be practiced assiduously so it becomes part of my consciousness instead of something I feel only when I'm enjoying my circumstances. This is good, I teach myself, pointing my eyes to the shadows of dogwood blossoms on brick. And this. The soles of my feet in cool mud. And on, and on.

___


9/11/09: Changed my mind

I used to think that art was the alchemy we use to transmute the ordinary, to make mundane things extraordinary. I thought it was in the narrating that we made things magical.

Now I think, not quite: Art is just a way to teach ourselves to see that it was already extraordinary.

___


12/10/09: Untitled

I address Puppy —
You know... — and she turns her head to listen as we walk.
Because I am wondering,
three blocks later
I begin a sentence in French.
No, she doesn't care.

Driving around the block looking for parking, I chant to myself:
plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose
Was kann man sagen?
qu'est-çe qu'on peut dire, plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose

"The more things change, the more they stay the same..."

And then in the evening
I read aloud to myself
very
very
slowly
a poem in Russian
which I do not understand, which I would probably love in translation if I could but
it's hard to see the poem for the syllables.

5 comments:

  1. 9/11/09: my favourite. perfect.

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  2. Like this. :)

    When I went back, there was usually a reason that I hadn't published it--too emotional at the time, or I didn't quite agree with how the words were coming out.

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  3. Wow. I love these. The first two seemed to come out of our collective consciousness, that's what I've been feelin'...

    I really like the idea of this but I deleted many old drafts, they sound stale and forced... and old... not naturally beautiful like your words. :)

    Seriously, Holly, your words captivate me... when are you coming to the Eggo?

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  4. perfect. i lovelovelovelove the part about reading a Russian poem.

    p.s. i might have to steal this idea too and look through my drafts.

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  5. colpanna - Those were some of the ideas MOST important to me when we were first getting to be friends that year. Perthites and them are some of my strong (lovely) associations with that year off.

    Heather - Thanks, and thanks for the idea. I know what you mean -- they felt unfinished or not worded well enough. The too-personal/emotional ones I ended up publishing to a private blog instead, when I was making a sweep of my drafts.

    sui - I'm making the brain-waves gesture at the screen. It's not surprising that we both love Thich Nhat Hanh's writing! Thank you so much -- I'll @reply you

    odessa - Do it! And I'd imagine you know just what it is like, maybe your first couple Japanese classes...

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