Thursday, May 31, 2012

Miles

I am never separated from people anymore, even when I fly far away from them.

Not that it's not different, being friends with someone faraway as opposed to someone close, but I have a cell phone and a webcam and so does most everyone I know; we don't lose each other.

So I only leave places, not people, which is maybe why it hurts so much: because I'm not used to having to give one thing up to have another, but that's what you have to do when you go, because we still haven't figured out how to be in all the places we love at once.

I'm a San Franciscan; it comes naturally to me to think of leaving my heart when I leave places I love (we have that song and all). And it hurts, like I imagine it used to hurt when you left a person you loved: an obsolete ache that has been felt by too much of humanity for too much of history to dissipate so quickly — so it echoes.

6 comments:

  1. "because we still haven't figured out how to be in all the places we love at once."

    I think I mainly love people, rarely actual places. Except for, you know, the sea, mountains, and NYC. So maybe I lied.

    I'm having epiphanies about wanderlust, epiphanies all over the place really.

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  2. I'm sleep-deprived, but did I mention how much I love the way you write and structure your thoughts and everything? I'm YOUR fan after all these years of shared fan-ship, reader-ship and friend-ship! (I know there haven't been THAT many years, but still)

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  3. This really resonated with me this week. I've "lost" so many people who were important to me this week, they've graduated / moved out / moved all over the world, and I have just definitely been feeling this profound sense of grief. I was thinking tonight that I'd like to make a list of my core tribemembers, the people who are most important to me, moving out from closest friends to less significant friends, so I can be more intentional about making sure I stay in good touch with those people and keep our relationship alive.

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  4. Yay for webcam and texting! I have truly enjoyed being connected w/ you despite our distance. And sorry I never comment on your blog, it's cuz I read it on my tablet and I can't figure out how to comment from my android reader!!! :(

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  5. i miss places. and being a grownup means you have to plan time off. Ugh. Good thoughts, sweetie!

    xo,
    SL

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  6. Sigh. You've said it so well. I feel like an octopus sometimes, trying to stay connected with all the places and people that I love.

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