Sunday, May 10, 2009

Storytime

When I was in eighth grade, I got a pair of Pumas, which were vair popular at my middle school. So I thought they were really cool, because that's what popular usually means when you're thirteen.

The front of them was suede, and I was really paranoid about the suede getting messed up. I remember sprinting inside when it started to rain during lunch.

One day on the yard I was standing around talking with my friends and eating applesauce. A guy I knew bumped into me, which made me spill applesauce on my shoes. I looked at them for a second and was filled with horror and anger beyond the powers of speech to convey. I turned to stare at him, and he said sorry, and I guess he saw the look in my eyes because he started to run away, and then I threw my applesauce at him. And then he said what the hell? and somehow I ended up with applesauce all over the front of my sweatshirt, and my spoon stuck in it somewhere around my collarbone

And after that I couldn't call him by his awesome nickname anymore—Bagel, if you are wondering, a reference to his last name, hometown, and Jewishness—because that was what his friends called him. The end.

Now it's your turn.

12 comments:

  1. When I was about ten I was playing with my cousin and sister at my aunt's house. They had this deadly steep green plastic slide running off the side of their makeshift treehouse, and usually we girls (my sister, my cousin, and me) grabbed onto the sides of the slide so we didn't go down too fast. Once I was feeling brave/stupid and didn't hold on. By the time I hit the bottom of the slide I was going so fast that I fell sitting position on the ground and got the wind knocked out of me for the first time. It was scary, and somewhat odd because I always though you could only get the wind knocked out of you from being hit on the chest or back.

    A few months later, I think, I fell backwards out of a swing at that same aunt's house and got the wind knocked out of me again. I haven't ever since then.

    Fortunately, I sustained no lasting injuries (broken necks, cracked spinal columns) from either of those incidents. I do wonder how I ever survived my childhood sometimes, though. I wasn't even as adventurous/stupid as I could have been and I got hurt often enough.

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  2. Q - The picture of you flying off that slide with a little-Q thump and gasp is so vivid in my head.

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  3. I was 4 years old on the first day I met my first best friend, we went into the back office room and we were playing tug a war. We were not using a rope like normal children would; we were innovative and used the window cord. I put it in my mouth because I was the tiger and she was the hunter and tigers don’t use their paws, who would win? Why force won this game and my two front teeth flung across the room like military projectiles. It took us a long while to locate them and with my mouth filling up with blood fast I needed to leave. I went out side and let go of the red sticky substance in my mouth and let the new stream of blood drain out. It wouldn’t have been so bad if my two front teeth were loose in the first place. My new best friend’s mother walked me back home and handed my teeth over to my mother while saying, “We’re your new neighbors; here are your daughter’s teeth”. Nice

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  4. I went ahead and blogged my story, should you be so inclined.

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  5. Once upon a time, I was about five, give or take a few years. Even as a young child, I enjoyed my late nights (relatively speaking) and sleeping in.

    One day, I woke up at noon and smelled something cooking downstairs. I got out of bed, feeling very refreshed (it was noon, after all), and went down into the kitchen.

    It turned out that my parents were making grilled cheese sandwitches! I loved grilled cheese, so I happily sat down at the table to eat lunch, despite having just woken up.

    My parents deny that such a thing ever happened, and to this day, I don't know whether it is real, a dream, or something I randomly made up.

    --

    That's the best I could come up with. My life has been pretty uneventful.

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  6. pinkapplecore - That is an awesome story. "Tigers don't use their teeth," haha!

    spider - Night owl as a child, possible grilled cheese hallucinations? Oh my. High five to you.

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  7. Haha that was a great story :P I had hot pink suede sneakers I felt the same way about- They lasted years because I was so careful- damn my ridiculous happiness, the day we got engaged in Singapore I destroyed them running about in the rain!

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  8. When I was 11 or 12 me and my brother were going on a walking trip with my cousins, auntie and uncle. England is of course known to be spontaneously rainy so my mother told me to wear a cap just in case. It looked really sunny and besides, it wasn't 'cool' so I didn't in the end. It didn't rain at all all day so I was feeling pretty smug that I didn't need to wear a hat. Little did I know at that point that the rain would be the problem. When I was younger, I was quite the tomboy so me and my cousins would always climb trees whenever it was possible to do so. On this one occasion I was sat on a low branch and I completely underestimated its sturdiness as I fell off it backwards with the back of my head greeting a large, crusty cow pat.

    I should've worn the hat.

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  9. First off, I very much like your new header.

    Alrighty...story...all I can think of this morning is the time when I had aunts on both sides of the family who were pregnant at the same time. I was little-girl-cousin-less, so I was hoping hard that one of the babies would turn out to be of the feminine variety. I started praying about this every night until someone from one side of the family said to me, offhandedly, "If your aunt Sue has a girl, you're going to have to share all those dolly clothes and things"--referring to stuff that used to belong to my aunts on that side (my dad's side) of the family. I was horrified by this idea. I liked all of my old-fashioned dolly clothes! I did not, under any circumstance, want to give them up! Not even having a baby girl cousin would be worth that. So I began praying fervently that my aunt Sue would have a baby boy.

    And she did. I was, of course, relieved, to say the least. And then I went to my brother (who wanted as many boy cousins as he could get) and told him, "I helped you pray that Aunt Sue would have a boy, so now you have to pray with me that Aunt Alison will have a girl."

    I don't think he bought that, and lo and behold, Auntie Alison had a boy, too.

    (But at least I didn't have to part with the dolly clothes. That was the important thing.)

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  10. (I suppose it's important to add that I was quite young at the time. Hah.)

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  11. As a naieve 6 year old girl, I decided to make friends with the girl no kid was approaching.

    We had fun, doing each others hair & holding hands, until one day she started kissing worms and slugs. I became the victim of playground jibes until I left primary / elementary school, and she also made me eat glue. :(

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  12. Em - :D But you couldn't have had a better story about how they got wrecked!

    Sonia - Aaaah poor little-Sonia! I feel like there must be a lot of stories which would have been a lot better if the protag had worn a hat.

    Erin - Oh, that's so funny! It's priceless the causal relationships children focus on/see.

    Melanie - Ack. I suppose you avoid the weird ones now...haha.

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