I am taking a break from my point-and-shoot 365 for a little while. I haven't been wanting to pick up that camera as often lately — it has been feeling like an interruption to what it documents.
I took my journal down to the beach this evening before dinner. I wrote about spitefulness. My impulse to spite, should you be interested, is strong and strange, but there are only three or four people who bring it out in me.
The waves were cold and very bright in the lowering sun. In the pauses, when I looked up at the sand and the water and the birds and my feet and tapped my pen to consider, I kept thinking, You will remember this so fondly once it is out of reach. That has been a saving question for me to ask myself before — Will I remember this fondly? Then savor it while it's here. Will there be anything to remember? If not, do something differently.
By this time next month, I'll be back in California and the sun will suddenly be setting before five rather than after seven. Strange! I feel invigorated and ready for December and the coming year.
3rd paragraph: wise words from a wise soul, I think.
ReplyDeleteyour musings and decision to pause your 365 actually reminds me of, as nonsequitur as it may seem, a post by park and cube: http://www.parkandcube.com/november-paris/
ReplyDeletei am similar about spite. i so rarely experience it, but ah, when i do...
selfishly i cannot wait to have you on this side of the world again!
"You will remember this so fondly once it is out of reach."
ReplyDeletethanks for that, Holly. I've been struggling to live each of my last days so that I will remember them fondly, rather than merely look ahead to being home again. Not easy.
Carl - That thought occurred to me first at school, when I was stressed and tired and short on money but also had a lovely place to live and good friends and plenty of intellectual stimulation. It was a good reminder to not be too caught up in the moment...
ReplyDeletesui - Ah, I like that blog. I think fashion bloggers in particular must suffer from documentation... I would be interested to talk about spite with you sometime, mine and yours.
Noël - But so honorable that you are mindful and do struggle towards that. I wish you success.
yes, she's one of the few fashion bloggers i still stand! ;) (and she's definitely smart and insightful to boot... and i love her photography. you know how you asked me once what my phone wallpaper was? it was a photo of her, haha!)
ReplyDeleteyes yes, let's talk about spite... <___<;;;
I really like those questions you ask yourself.
ReplyDeleteErin - Thanks, darling; I thought they might be useful to someone besides me.
ReplyDelete