December 25th

Evening view

Shivers / nephew

I have had a shivery buzzing feeling since yesterday, couldn't quiet my still faintly jetlagged brain enough for sleep — or couldn't make myself want to make it quiet badly enough — until about six in the morning, but this evening after dinner it vanished and I was left with a sudden emptiness, the tranquil kind.

I met my nephew today for the first time. He is five weeks old. (How can that be a sentence? A human who is five weeks old? It boggles the mind.)

"Holy Never, have mercy on us."

It's comforting to be tired with the parents of a newborn, because you know you are not alone and yet they still have it so much worse than you.

I'm making a crafty little photocopied book of Australian stuff, of some of the things I wrote there as well as some other bits and pieces. Let ya know when it's finished.

Wind and unwind

Light-leaky family, Christmas break

365 is on hold briefly while I'm waiting for the replacement for a broken memory card to arrive in the mail. How about...some pictures of my family from Christmas break instead! Since I gave you that teaser of baby Chloe and her dad below. The light leaks were my fault, not the camera's. I accidentally burned off half the roll when I opened the back at the beach, not realizing I'd shot too far for it to rewind.

Splitsmas

1. a stranger whom I could not have NOT photographed. 2. the usual. 3. sidewalk furniture. 4. walking at home. 5. someone who was my friend when I was very young.

A Christmas card, kind of.

Dear you,

I hope your day has been full of light, warmth, and good company. Thank you for sharing your company with me here—your thoughts, encouragement, and inspiration are such gifts.

I want to ask you something—to think about if there is a way I can be of support to you, something I can do for you this coming year, a way for me to be a better friend. Whether we are close friends or have never exchanged comments or emails yet, I would love to hear, and I really mean that, because it is just right and so good when we ask each other for what we need...and you have many other people in your life probably to ask, and I'm not perfect at anything, but still. Maybe I'm the right person for something.

That's open-ended on purpose. Consider it a standing invitation. You know where to find me.

yours,
Holly.

How do we wish to meet this child? Have our hands become too hard and proud from daily work to fold themselves in adoration at the sight of this child? Do we carry our head, which has had to think so many heavy thoughts and to solve so many problems, too high for us to bow it humble before the wonder of this child?

Can we one more time forget entirely all our strivings, accomplishments, and importance, to join the shepherds and the sages from the East and offer childlike adoration to the divine child in the manger?"

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

A poem from the days of yore

I wrote this poem in eighth grade and Faith's excitement over a real Christmas tree and its smell reminded me of it. It's a nice bit of nostalgia, both in what I remember of writing it and of the grade-specific things I talk about in it...


when i wake up in december, the first thing i am aware of is the scent of the christmas tree.
when my eyelids are pressed against my eyeballs
and my body is pressed against my mattress,
i can smell the christmas tree in the living room. i imagine that i can also smell the ice-and-feet smell of an ice skating rink. i hear the hardness of ice skates hitting the ice. i remember the warmth of pajamas on christmas morning.
i think of the day happening. i will wear a santa claus hat today.
i will complain about how cold it is when i have to change for p.e.
i will eat my lunch. i will look forward to getting my braces off.
i will mentally go through my list of presents to buy still.
but first i will untie sleep and gravity from myself and get out of bed. i will eat breakfast and imagine a white christmas. i will be happy and look forward to vacation.
how is now different from other times of the year? why am i happier in december? i can feel the difference in christmas songs, cold weather, candlelit services at church. counting christmas trees in windows, the band concert, going to see the Nutcracker. wishing people a nice vacation, hot chocolate, something always baking in the kitchen. the smell of a christmas tree first thing in the morning...